Unless you're willing to waste an hour and a half of your life just for a few gory kills, this one should be ignored. I had an evening to kill after spending the first 3/4 of my weekend watching several GOOD films, and I expected more - of EVERYTHING - out of this one: more dark comedy, more violence, more stupid humor. It failed in ALL AREAS. For one, I had to wait almost a full 40 minutes before the first "notable" kill (00:39:47), and then it was a long wait before the next ones started piling up. Granted, they got a little creative, and yes, it's pretty gruesome...but it just wasn't worth all the utter tripe you have to sit through. The storyline itself is completely bland, with no room whatsoever to empathize with anyone, so when the killing starts, you really don't feel anything for anyone. Just as in _The Evil Dead_, the main characters are a bunch of brain-dead teenagers filled with hormones, so you're almost rooting for them to get killed off. Not that they **deserve** it, mind you; it's just that the movie will be better off once they and their silly sex-addled brains are removed from the script. Fast-forward to the end: it makes ZERO SENSE AT ALL. If you've ever watched _City of the Living Dead_ (released in the U.S. as _The Gates of Hell_ ) and you recall the closing scene in that movie…this one was highly reminescent of that movie/scene. I watched it multiple times to see if I had missed something, but no…and it still makes no sense to me. Just too many disjointed, disconnected, makes-no-sense-and-doesn't-even-flow-with-the-story loose ends. Although it was interesting seeing the different "kills", they were nothing original and the movie itself turned out to be a complete waste of time. **SPECIAL NOTE** It was a true surprise and a delight to see - in the role of the elderly customer Mr. Abernathy during the opening scene - Emil Sitka, from the old _Three Stooges_ series. I actually burst out laughing when he yelled out _"Hold hands, you lovebirds!"_ Classic!!!!

>Bub: *"I swear to God. If my brother hadn't hit him in the head repeatedly with a blender, he would've killed me!"* Linda: *"A blender?"* Bub: *"Yeah, uh... a Hamilton Beach blender."* Nice one location setting in a supermarket at night and good atmosphere but it's a little boring and very generic even for a slasher. A tighter runtime would have helped this movie a great deal. The kills are mostly hit, some of them have cool practical effects (the meat cutter one was peak) while others are PG-13 and the camera cuts away. It does some cool visuals with mirrors, shadows, holes in walls and glass bottles in a few scenes that I thought were interesting and memorable. Good score that elevates everything. The final half hour is by far the best part, earns it an extra half star. Unsatisfying ending because of who survived. Where was the Hamilton Beach blender kill??

If you're a die-hard fan of _The Three Stooges_ you'll get a kick out of the opening 4:00 minutes of this: a special cameo appearance by Emil Sitka (any _Stooges_ fan knows who Emil Sitka is) dropping his famous line, _"Hold hands, you lovebirds!"_ was absolutely brilliant, charming, and a terrific throwback to Sitka's 1940s days of playing fall guy to the Three Stooges antics. After the 00:4:00 mark, you're on your own. This had to be one of the most awful stories ever...with some creative kill scenes, rubber SFX, and buckets of red paint. The acting was atrocious, the story itself was pathetically weak, and the dialogue is enough to make you think it was scribbled on cheap napkins across a blue-plate special in a cheap diner...by eighth-graders. Seriously, it was absolutely atrocious, and the ONLY redeeming quality was Sitka's cameo in the opening scene. The conclusion was ridiculous, but that was fitting, because the rest of the film was too. You'll get some interesting kill scenes here - obviously someone worked in an old-fashioned market at one time and thought, _"These would be awesome in a horror movie!"_ - but the rest of the film, the acting, the lack of a plausible story, the awful dialogue, and the bad ending make this stinkpot not worth sitting through after that glorious opening 4 minutes. Thank you, Emil Sitka, for donating your time and that classic line to making this enjoyable for at least the first four minutes.

Intruder :handshake: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989 slasher films with stupid cops that get the background music they deserve 💜) absolutely love the local grocery store setting (with the killer making use of everything within and then some!) and overnight shift time frame. some really creative framing with or through various objects like shelving throughout the store and the lighting/use of shadow was sublime. caught what i assume was the director's cut (if it wasn't i can't wait to see what that offers because this already felt surprisingly gnarly) on Shudder and i can't wait to revisit already. holding off on a potential blu-ray in case a 4k shows (though naturally it probs won't until i decide to cave and grab one) but it's def on my wishlist, for sure.

Ok let try this out, Swagnep’s **SCARE Movie Rating Scale**: **Setup, Pacing and Ending** (Max 3 Points) Plodding with an unsatisfying ending. Half a point for the nostalgic supermarket location. **Characters, Acting and Dialogue** (Max 3 Points) Erm. The characters were just there [spoiler] as killing fodder [/spoiler]. Half a point for Bruce Campbell's sexy cameo. **Audio, Visuals and Movement** (Max 2 Points) Max 2 points here for the practical effects and the creative kills. **Resonance (emotional impression)** (Max 1 Point) Is bored an emotion? No points. **Enjoyment (bonus point for any reason)** (Max 1 Point) 1 bonus point for [spoiler] the machine death [/spoiler] Summary: 4 points. Just fast forward to the good scenes.