By this point Bronson is way too old to play either a believable hero or some supposedly irresistible leading man, and the movie’s refusal to notice that becomes its own form of comedy. The script is stupid, the acting is terrible, and the whole thing feels worse than a made-for-TV movie somehow trying to cosplay as a theatrical release. Michael Parks, hiding behind sunglasses, briefly looks like Robert Downey Jr. from across the room, right up until he opens his mouth and reminds you that no, this is a much sadder situation. The Paconi brothers as his lieutenants are even worse: incompetent, unmenacing, and almost parody-level bad. And of course, because this is a Death Wish movie, becoming Bronson’s girlfriend is basically a death sentence with better lighting. Don’t waste your time.

One more. Not quite as good as the original but ok for fans of Bronson.