Todos lo hacen starts from an idea that, on paper, could have worked: several couples trapped in the hotel where they got married, a blackmail plot, a corpse, suspects, secrets and a tone somewhere between black comedy, farce and Agatha Christie-style mystery. The problem is that a premise does not make a film. And here, unfortunately, almost everything else fails. The film is silly, boring, bad and rather pointless. Not because a comedy has to be deep, of course, but because it should at least have rhythm, wit, bite or something to hold it together. Todos lo hacen has almost none of that. It tries to be light, tries to be mischievous, tries to be tangled, tries to play the “everyone is a suspect” game, but it never makes you care about the mystery, the characters or the jokes. The script is the main problem. It is dreadful, flat, predictable and very uninspired. The criminal side has no tension; the comic side has no spark; and the twists feel written out of obligation rather than real narrative construction. Everything moves mechanically, as if the film trusted that putting several familiar actors together in a hotel would be enough to create fun. But it is not enough. You need writing, timing, dialogue, situations that build and characters who do not feel like exhausted caricatures from their very first appearance. And that is another major flaw: the characters. Almost all of them are pushed toward the easiest extreme, as if shouting, making strange faces or repeating one personality tic could replace actual comedy. There are capable actors here, that is obvious, but many of them seem trapped in roles that feel like stretched-out television sketches. The cast tries to lift the material, but the film gives them very little to work with. And when a comedy has no good jokes, no good dialogue and no good conflicts, the actors end up seeming more irritating than funny. It also fails as a parody of the classic mystery. For a cluedo-style comedy to work, even an absurd one, there has to be a minimum structure, a game with the viewer, an accumulation of suspicions, some pleasure in the deception. Here everything feels clumsy, forced and inelegant. The suspense is not entertaining and the resolution does not reward the journey. Rather than a comic mystery, it feels like a series of scenes falling one after another without any real pulse. The worst thing is that it is not even remotely funny. You can forgive an absurd plot if the film makes you laugh. You can forgive a weak mystery if the characters are amusing. You can forgive a light comedy if it at least gives you a pleasant time. But Todos lo hacen does not entertain, intrigue or surprise. It becomes long, heavy and increasingly irritating. It is a waste of time. One of those films that unfairly confirms the worst prejudices against a certain kind of Spanish comedy, even though Spain produces a great deal of good cinema. The problem is not that it is Spanish; the problem is that it is bad. Bad in its script, bad in its rhythm, bad in its humor and bad as an attempt at a crime comedy. I do not know what else to say about a film that fails at the most basic thing it promised: making you laugh a little.