The best defense is a crappy offense.

To be the number 1 robot, you need a place to go number 2.

The greatest thing one friend can do for another is not murder him.

No holding down B in the pool area.

Sharing is caring. Unfortunately, caring won't help you much in videogames.

Every ninja's dream: two girls at the same time.

Don't even get him started on Creed.

Overheating is radical.

8 bit blood is thicker than 8 bit water.

It's hard to beat a boss when he's into it.

Angry birds and pigs have a lot in common. For example, neither can fly for some reason.

What happens in Casino Night Zone stays in Casino Night Zone.

This is what happens when you find a roommate on Craigslist in Raccoon City.

He was the least and most annoying bandicoot at the party.

Guess who's being randomly encountered for dinner.

He's a t-t-t-t-terrifying ruler.

He'd be a great voiceover artist if he didn't have to read or talk.

They'll do anything to save him. As long as it's not too much work.

If she's going to street fight, she'd better do it like a proper lady.

He's game ready. And really, really desperate.

This is almost as cruel as keeping them in a tiny ball.

Living in a backpack is the least of her worries.

We'd use the sprites from Final Fantasy 1, but he doesn't do originals.

"Thank you, father! But our respectable suitor is in another castle.

Never buy a pre-owned drillcar.

He's a master of the "Hadouken" and "Waistband" technique.

The higher they jump, the farther they fall. And fall. And fall.

Our heart containers go out to his family.

He had his whole extra life ahead of him.

What happens in the warp zone, stays in the warp zone.

Forgive and forget. Unless they just punched through a skyscraper.

The shortest distance between two objects is a straight line. Or a portal.

They say dolphins are only slightly less intelligent than humans. And humans are pretty dumb.

You shouldn't run away from your problems, especially if you can beat them in a fight.

You don't need the tri-force of wisdom to realize this won't turn out well.

He's gonna kick your ass. Right after he reads the move-list.

Imitation is the sincerest form of ornithology.

He's got a few ghost skeletons in his closet.

No free coins. No extra lives. The only way out is the reset button.

They're going to kill you....

He's as American as apple pie injected with super steroids.

Not enough minerals? MINE THEM YOURSELF.

You'd be amazed at how much living next to Hell will affect your property value.

The only thing worse than having your head chopped off is having your head mostly chopped off.

He'll take you to the next level for just 10% of your coins.

I think we can all agree that gridlock is the real monster here.

They're not the best strategists, but they'll run at you like nobody's business.

"It's not you, it's me....and the fact that you're not a princess.

Teamwork is infectious.

Back in my day, fireflowers were only a nickel.

When life gives you the Triforce, make Triforce grenades.

The fastest thing alive meets the smoothest talker alive.

"Gee, I've been saved by therapy. How swell.

His face has a lot of character. Horrible, deformed character.

Even seasoned comedians occasionally bob-omb.

Behind every great woman there's an awful man trying to get her in a bikini.

Dr. Wily wants him gone.

Speed runs save lives.

It's better to give than to receive a terrible present.

He's not big on using shotgun ice, but he's always down to shotgun Natty Ice.

It's not the size of your gun arm that counts, it's how you use it.

One fox, two tails, unlimited lives.

The ESRB may have to reevaluate their rating.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy everything.

Nothing's more dangerous than stereotyping. Except maybe Goro.

You don't need jelly beans to transform into a productive member of society.

Imitation is the sincerest form of douchebaggery.

That's the last time he'll drive while eating Falcon Lunch.

Player 2 has Player 1 aspirations.

The only dunking he's doing involves cookies and milk.

You will rue the day you summoned him.

Doubling in size instantly is bad for your health.

These Dorkly boys don't cut em' no slack.

This isn't the game over he asked for.

If you wear a raccoon tail long enough, people are gonna get the wrong idea.

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And gigantic, car-sized frogs.

Initializing raspy voice mode...

You've got to draw the line somewhere. Preferably behind the badass laser robot.

It's called tough love. Very, very tough love.

Don't cross the (time) streams.

No animals were harmed in the making of the Tanooki suit.

Nothing like a little Spring inventory cleaning.

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out with your shrill, horrible voice.

Night of the living dread.

Never trust the guy in the van.

Psh, you can talk to your family anytime.

It's all in the limbs.

Not a creature was stirring, not even a Mouser.

A toast to Luigi: The richest Player 2 in town.