The first of the _Armageddon_ pay-per-view events begins with a bang, as it opens with a 16-man "battle royale" between 8 tag-teams; the winning team will meet The New Age Outlaws for a championship match at the upcoming _Royal Rumble_ event in January. It starts off with yet another awful, callous swipe at people with speech impediments, with "The Dudley Boys" entering, and "Bubba Ray Dudley" supposedly stammering through a speech in the microphone. Completely classless. Their entrance is eclipsed by the arrival of "Edge and Christian" who attack the Dudleys right away; following this brief skirmish, we have the Headbangers showing up, but they are (of course) overshadowed by the appearance of "Teri" (Teri Runnels, the real-life wife of Dustin "Golddust" Runnels) and The Hardy Boys (Matt and Jeff). Following the Hardy Boys is the "Mean Street Posse", and they're followed by The Acolytes (Farooq and Bradshaw). "2 Cool" follows the Acolytes, and they're followed by the team of "The Godfather" and Mark Henry. (The Godfather's "ho's" of course are along for the ride, if you will...) This actually wasn't bad, especially for an opening match, and I confess to being surprised by the conclusion. Next up is another Kurt Angle match; he's still kind of a "heel" at this point, spouting all his accomplishments and his virtues, so that makes him at least an interesting character. In this match, he's squaring off against Steve Blackman; the match wasn't all that great but it wasn't boring either. Moving on, we come to the "T&A" portion of the card that all the male horndogs have been lusting for: the "pool" match featuring "Miss Kitty" vs "Jacquelyn" vs "B.B." vs "Ivory" (the current Womens' Champion). The winner of the match - and the womens' champion - will be the last woman to keep her evening gown on...in a swimming pool. Like I said, this is the T&A part of the card that all the horndogs have been lusting for. The match is exactly what you would expect but I have to admit, I cracked up at the conclusion. That was hilarious! LOL Next on the menu is a laughable (seriously!) "heavyweight" tag-team match featuring the team of "Rikishi" and "Viscera" - at a literal combined weight of 900 lbs - squaring off against "The Hollies" (Crash and Hardcore), with a combined weight of maybe 400 lbs. (Their entry includes the statement, _"An alleged weight of over 800 lbs."_ ) I'd be surprised if either man breaks 200 lbs individually. These two dwarfs squaring off against the 900+ lbs of Viscera and Rikishi is hilarious. The match itself was short-lived (as you might imagine) but nonetheless entertaining, and probably the start of another storyline. Next on the menu was a "triple-threat" match for the European Championship, featuring "Val Venis" vs "D'Lo Brown" vs. "The British Bulldog" (the reigning champion). While I'm not usually wild about these "Triple-Threat" matches (they usually get very confusing) this one was put together very well with excellent performances by all the contenders; the conclusion was also a bit of a surprise, as well. Next up, yet another "match" between X-Punk vs. Kane. If it weren't for Kane, I would sleep through this one. X-Punk (Sean Waltman) is as believable as a 3-dollar bill. And only slightly less exciting to see. Next up is yet another just really oddball (and lame) match between "Chris Jericho" vs "Chyna" for the Intercontinental Championship. I gues you do what you gotta do for a paycheck but I think I would have to take the Ken Shamrock route and exit the WWF if the best story they could come up with for my character would be to pit me against a female. "Jericho" as a character is interesting enough but this particular storyline was just...it was feeble at best. Next up is another championship match between Mick Foley's "Mankind" and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's "Rock and Sock Connection" squaring off against The New Age Outlaws. Jim Ross - much as I love him - continues his outlandish statements such as _"The New Age Outlaws are the most honored, decorated tag-team in WWF history...and in my opinion, the absolute GREATEST as well."_ Well, golly-gee-whiz, JR, I'm thinking of The Legion of Doom (aka The Road Warriors), the Steiners, Demolition, the British Bulldogs, the Can-Am Connection, and quite possibly the best tag team ever, The Hart Foundation. The "New Age Outlaws" are champions simply because they're good at cheating or disqualifying themselves so they don't surrender the belts...not because they're "just that good". (PS: Yes, I understand it's all a scripted story; I just don't understand why WWF leadership continues to push this team as "champions" when neither of them are that interesting. At least the aforementioned better teams had some personality, and not just a foul-mouthed intro and vulgar play-acting in the. ring.) Nonetheless, the match was what it was, with a unique conclusion. (Not necessarily one that you couldn't see coming, but the manner in which it happened.) Next on the card was yet another title match featuring "The Big Show" vs "Big Boss Man". And while I know the "back story" is simply that - a story - it's still tasteless. While it definitely serves to fuel the emotions of the fans, I still think they could have come up with something a little less tacky. The one (hopefully) bright side was that the match had a definitive conclusion so let's hope they're done with this storyline; they've milked it dry. Now we come to the "main event": the match between Vince McMahon vs "Triple H" (Paul Levesque). The match was entertaining enough but those props... wow. (And that isn't a good "wow", either.) It was entertaining, yes, but some of the props that were used - a "helicopter" with a rear rotor that can be turned with one hand (rapidly, no less!) in order to smack someone in the fact - yeah, it was just kind of that ridiculous. The match was entertaining, the back story not so much, and all the cheap toy props that were used just added to how silly it all was. I can't say much about the conclusion without spoiling it so just suffice it to say this was the beginning of another WWE storyline that kind of goes on "forever". LOL Was it the best PPV card they've put together? No, not IMO....but it was still entertaining and worth watching, especially if you're a true fan of all things WWE.