Things I liked: ++ Maybe I'm in the minority, but I felt that this built up tension very effectively. The first half of these type of films can easily be a painfully dull drag of odd things happening to the protagonist. However, in Keeper it felt well done. ++ She-Hulk is a good protagonist.I don't think she makes stupid decisions and I never found myself rolling my eyes, or saying to myself "she-hulk, what the fuck are you doing?". Maybe I'm just dumb, though. ++ Some of the spectres, ghouls, dead ex-girlfriends or whatever were creepy and off-putting. Something about a lady with a bag on her head doing a cute pose freaks me the hell out. Things I didn't like: -- I'll be honest, I could not explain to you what the hell was happening. I'm not a film critic and I didn't study English Lit at university so deciphering metaphors is not my strong suit. I don't know what the cake was about apart from it was laced with some drug that made you sleepy. I don't know why the ghouls all turned on him. Was she some descendant of the OG witch? Was the OG victim even a witch? I don't know why the creeps granted him life in exchange for pretty women. Were all the creepy patisserie chefs in the basement ex-girlfriends? Or just some of them? Why were her eyes black? I suppose what I'm saying is that in this movie I enjoyed the build up far more than the pay off which felt... underbaked. HA! -- Some of the spectres were kind of silly. The Mr Fantastic stretch armstrong one was just... goofy lol -- It does that thing that horror movies do where they play an old song and automatically seem to think it makes everything scarier. Sometimes it works really well, but this time round it didn't really do it for me for whatever reason. But having said all that, I liked it. I will enjoy the next few hours where I try to work out what the cake meant, why people's heads were put in jars and more than anything why She Hulk accepted said cake. Just say no, guys; don't let anybody peer pressure you into eating a cake you wouldn't normally go for. Maybe that's the point of this movie: anti-chocolate cake propaganda.

The atmosphere is there, but it never amounts to much beyond vibes. The story circles its own dread without ever tightening the knot. Performances are fine, the craft is competent, but the film keeps you at arm’s length so long that engagement flatlines. It’s not bad so much as frustratingly inert—a slow burn that forgets to actually light the match.

Whoever put the trailer together was working over time. Some how felt like it had more going on than the movie itself. Took over an hour to get anywhere, then there was a quick wrap up of the strange mystery and it was over. I only gave it a look in because James Wan vouched for it. Poor.

I always look forward to a Perkins project, even though his filmography is more misses than hits. My interest in this one never seemed to peak either, and I understand the idea, but what was the actual point? Also, why was this a full feature? Half of the runtime is almost wasted on predictable art house shots. The cast does a decent job with what they're given, but the acting becomes extremely repetitive. If there's one thing I've taken away from this, it's that Perkins should explore other genres, and I mean that in a positive way.