The only thing that hurts is watching Ariana DeBose's career unfold after she won the Oscar. What the hell is going on?

They tried to make a jackie chan movie from beginning to end but they failed. It's better to watch any jackie chan movie before watching this one. Don't expect too much.

I liked it. The action scenes were great. The movie tries to be a unique bend of trying to include Valentine's themes with the rest of the story. Unfortunately the V-Day stuff is the best part of the story. The rest of it is just getting the players together for the next action sequence. As a result it doesn't flow well. It doesn't unlock smoothly. A film story doesn't have to completely explain A before getting to B and then to C. Of course you can save some stuff for the final reveal, but this movie felt disjointed at times. Which is a shame because Ke Huy Quan is good. He's really sinking into his stereotype of a man who believes in love and friendship. He's practically a shonen Anime character. It's adorable. It's almost enough to make you see past the fact that his love interest is 20 years his junior. I mean there is a long and storied history of Asian Men and Black Women together as love interests (Romeo Must Die, R&H's Cinderella, Lovebirds) and I support carrying on that tradition. It's just apparent that Rose is too young for Marvin. That said if this was the worst issue in the film I'm not sure I'd even mention it. The film also had some excellent co-stars. Rhys Darby has been fun to watch and makes me want to rewatch Flight of the Conchords again. Sean Astin usually does good work and he's got a tiny role but he plays it well. Marshawn Lynch is kinda goofy but intentionally so. When you consider how much work goes into acting intentionally it shows just how hard Lynch has been going on his craft. We could go on and on with Daniel Wu and Mustafa Shakir and a few others. The two dollar review is to turn of your brain a bit and enjoy some great fight scenes with solid humor. I sincerely hope Ke gets to do more of this.

Oof. Ke is the best thing about this painfully boring movie

Happy Valentine’s Day dickhead!