Wild to bring your private cell phone on a kidnapping job.... Complete with a picture of you and your kid on the lock screen. Lazy writing.. Long-winded shock and awe.

>–*"I got the garlic."* –*"Sammy, those are fucking onions."* Go in blind without seeing the trailer for this one. The trailer ruined the first and part of the second act for me, it's basically a whodunit mystery in a mansion with the characters being clueless and blaming each other. We've all seen the trailer! That first act is worthless. Why show us the twist it's so frustrating. ***Abigail*** is *Ready or Not* but with a vampire twist, nothing original and not as good as *Ready or Not* but it's still a decent fun time. Perfect set, lots of blood, lots of action, and some laugh out loud moments. The tone is completely off though, it's campy most of the time but also tries to be a heartfelt drama at other times—those are polar opposites, it doesn't work! The vampire powers were so interesting, probably my favorite aspect of the movie. Don't let the title fool you, this movie should be called "Dan Stevens" cause he steals the spotlight as he usually does. The moment when he says "I feel great" and everything after that was peak. As much as I enjoyed him, it's a shame that he steals the spotlight from Abigail (Alisha Weir) because this was supposed to be her movie. She's excellent in the role, always believable, so confident and actually scary. Kathryn Newton was absolutely killer in a certain scene. Melissa Barrera's best performance yet, I wasn't a fan of her acting in *Scream VI* but she was actually believable here. As good as the cast is, it tries too hard with the characters. They're not that interesting and the execution for the character buildup could have been better handled. Constantly having to build up those characters in between action scenes slowed down the movie considerably when they should really be dying instead sinse this is a horror movie. It also had no right being this long, a good 20-30 minutes could be cut out. The last twist was laughable and overstayed it's welcome.

They should have made it a sequel to M3GAN and called this ABIG4IL

3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Abigail’: 1. Wow, that young actress has quite the acting chops! Who knew ballet-dancing vampires could be so creepy? She was fantastic. 2. I felt like the group picked up on the “vampire” thing a liiiiiiittle too quickly lol… coming from someone who went in blind and didn’t know what she was right away. But she was indeed a vamp, and I appreciated the fairly unpredictable and clever take on the mythology here. 3. I love Dan Stevens, and even more so since he’s alllllll up in the horror genre! But why does he always play such a dick? Lol.

These Hollywood "highly recommended professional criminals" sure are the same unimaginative rag rag bunch of annoying cartoon characters in every single movie. Somebody please update that fucking template already. As for the rest of it - simplistic, derivative, lazy, predictable, plot hole rich mess that relies on one gimmick that is built to become a franchise.