i plan to rewatch this soon so maybe will comment again, but i just want to say this movie is incredibly important, and continues to hold a special place in my heart to this day. for being made in the early 2000s when female sexuality was still a punchline and a myth to most people, and bdsm was seen as a weird outlier fetish, it's realistic and raw and somehow still strangely beautiful. the characters are undeniably damaged at certain points, but the way the director doesn't shy away from showing all that damage is important, and feels necessary rather than exploitative. it's also a good movie to demonstrate that consent can be communicated in a myriad of ways, and that power imbalances can be positive and healthy if the people involved want that imbalance in place.

Still super hot years after the whole 50 shades thing. Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader are excellently cast.

**10+**, This film has been played so well that even a person normally disgusted by SM (yep, that would be me... Not in my POTUS porn profile) begins to understand the relationship and the beauty and intensity of it. In the beginning of the film is a bit of a spoiler, but even though you get a glimpse This doesn't really spoil your own ideas on how and why this relationship develops into a SM one. **To get the most out of this film I guess you would have to have a blank non understanding view of SM and really REALLY want to understand why people hurt themselves and others are able to hurt and love at the same time.** I guess the most difficult role in such a relationship would be role of the person that has to inflicting pleasure in the form of pain. If not... I would consider it a BAD relationship with a sadist. For anyone who feels agitated by these last words. You are probably just discovered your inner self and realised you are a bad person. Go and change that if possible. But back to the film... Most people will still think that these are bad relationships, but most normal relationships aren't that good... The one portrayed here is in my eyes a good one. Both are fulfilling in each other's needs and besides that have a loving relationship. This film has given me the ability to understand the people that have good SM relationships. (not talking about the amount of pain) Let me clarify; I still don't understand any form of bad relationships. Amazing how a film mostly played in the same setting can be so intense. It's like Dogville and could have been played in 2 almost bare rooms. Dogville: https://trakt.tv/movies/dogville-2003

they matched each other's freak (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥)づ♡

copied from letterboxd “i’m your secretary.” 

my face has been stuck in a smile ever since the credits started rolling. a movie has not affected me this deeply and strangely since fight club. 
i am so much like lee in so many ways and i desire e. edward grey deeply and that’s not just because its james spader. everything about this movie has me in awe and amazement. my heart has been in the pit of my stomach multiple times but it was so worth it oh my god. the set, the music, the acting, everything is perfect. i genuinely couldn’t improve anything if i tried. this is such a tender and special movie, i want this type of relationship so, so badly. lee playing with edward’s hair will be playing in my head on loop for weeks.