Only thing I understand from this movie is that Kakihara is a submissive twink.

Hooptober Twelve: Bark at the Moon edition "There's no love in your violence." Ichi the Killer is just bonkers. Loads of blood, epic early 2000's CGI, ripping arms off, skinny dudes getting buffed, Kakihara's smile, Ichi's killing sprees, torture, loads of dead bodies, an great ending, the weirdest title card you'll ever see and finding out who Ichi is the second time he visits Sailor's appartment. I still can't believe this is my first Takashi Miike movie because he's a director I think I will really like and with Ichi the Killer he's off to a good start! Ichi the Killer is a movie that I know for certain if I show this one to my girlfriend or to my friends they will scratch the back of their heads, look at me and think what the hell are you showing us? Ichi the Killer isn't for everyone but if you are into weird movies, this is a must watch. Ps. the lad on the poster is not Ichi!

I was sucking on a popsicle when the cum dripped and the title card dropped.

It is extremely rare for me to rate a movie "1" (Weak Sauce) simply because I don't understand what "Weak Sauce" is supposed to mean (but I definitely understand what "Terrible" is). In this case, however, I have to give this a "1" simply because it was so utterly terrible. I watched this only because it was listed on one of my curated list: _10 Extreme Goriest Horror Movies Ever Made_ and while, yes, parts of it were "gory" - only in the sense that there were scenes of blood, body parts, intestines, etc laying around - and yes, it was certainly "bloody", it was one of the worst films I've sat through in terms of (1) storyline (2) acting (3) special effects/makeup, and (4) overall enjoyment/"watchability" (if that's a word). Maybe the Japanese (or whomever this was produced for) understood it; I certainly didn't. If it hadn't been for the very brief synopsis provided in the movie's description, I would have had no clue what this was about. Listen: this movie is "bloody"...there are scenes where the red paint, ketchup, and whatever else are ridiculous. There are scenes where throats get sliced and victims walk around with GALLONS of blood spurting from their neck, still trying to talk, etc... But the violence is all implied. This is not a "torture porn" movie where you want to tear your eyes away but you can't (because that's why you watched it in the first place, right?). This is not a hardcore martial-arts movie with a lot of killing in it; it's a ridiculous story where people walk into/onto a scene where violence (unseen) has obviously already happened, and the room/site they enter has been covered in the aforementioned red paint/latex body parts. Unlike some more-modern horror films, you don't actually witness a throat get slashed, a victim disemboweled, an eye get gouged out, etc (think of the horror you witnessed in the _I Spit On Your Grave_ franchise). This is all _implied_ violence, with the exception of maybe three scenes where the "attack" is so sudden that you don't see it anyway: you only see the results. Some of the special effects were so completely ridiculous that it was impossible to NOT see this as some sort of "horror/comedy"; you kept wanting to laugh because it was so bad, but you knew you weren't really supposed to. There are movies that are "so bad it's good", but _Ichi the Killer_ fell into that dark abyss between that and "so mindnumbingly violently gruesome that it's good". This movie seemed to not know what it was supposed to be. As a result, it turned out to be a not-very-good movie with an even worse storyline and so much fake blood that it (seriously) took me three watchings to complete it. That's how bored I was with it, from the beginning. You can catch it with English subtitles on Kanopy (at least, that's where I watched it) but why would you? It isn't worth sitting through because it's just overall a really, really terribly-made, bad movie. If you're looking for violence, this will (mostly) disappoint you. If you're looking for horror, this will CERTAINLY disappoint you. If you're looking for fake blood, awful dialogue, a story that makes no sense and a killer that cries when he kills, well, then you have just found your Utopia. This one made no sense to me and I'm sorry I wasted my time on it.

The movie has a hard-to-follow plot with slow pacing, which makes it challenging to fully grasp it. It excels in its cinematography, offering captivating shots and an immersive aesthetic. That stops when the gore shows. It is so bad it is funny. Overall the effects and CGI are so bad it's comedic. It's important to note that the movie's depiction of violence, particularly against women, is undeniably difficult to watch. The unflinching brutality is disturbing. Kakihara is greatly designed both visually and as a character. It's such a waste of a design put into this movie. I wish they utilized his character more.