Not a very interesting card. And I'm still wondering if the conclusion to that main event "Million-Dollar Match" between Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes was in the script, or did Joe Frazier completely blow it? Hard to tell because it seemed like EVERYONE - including the other "ringside judges" - were confused about what Frazier was doing. What a disappointing end to a disappointing card.

Alright. I've wrapped up Starrcade 1983, now on to this show. Less historically significant this one is. Flair is already crowned as The Guy, and the Starrcade brand itself is already established. But lets see what this one can do. As with the last review, keep in mind that I dont have as much experience reviewing pro wrestling matches and while I've been a fan for many many years, I've never focused on the intricacies and don't necessarily understand deep wrestling psychology that well. We start with a replay of last years main event's ending (which was botched slightly, so thats a bit funny. But I barely noticed it was botched myself.) Gordon Solie and Bob Caudle are once again on commentary. Honestly, as much as I liked some of their work on the last show (especially Gordon) i was at least interested to see if there would be a shakeup here. Neither of them are very high energy, but they're competent analysts and Gordon makes some good calls. So apparently the reason the show is called what it is is because the main event has 1 million dollars on the line (kayfabe) in addition to the championship itself. Adds a bit of sports legitimacy feeling to proceedings in a sense. Though I've always watched wrestling with the idea in mind that the winner of matches would get an extra purse in kayfabe, to help justify non-title bouts. Also, I definitely assumed champions got paid more in kayfabe. I like that Gordon and Bob are in a booth with a window facing the arena behind them this time. Makes them feel actually present at the arena this time, which they sort of didn't in 1983. Funny to see the light blue NWA matt clean once again after it was all caked in blood and sweat at the end of the last one. **Opening Match: NWA Junior Heavyweight Title Match: Mike Davis (Champion) vs Denny Brown (Challenger)** : Can't say I'm familiar with these guys. But a Junior Heavy match on the card seems theoretically interesting. Based on crowd reactions, Davis is the face here. Denny on announcement initially gets a quiet pop before the boos hit, and neither are loud. But Davis gets some good cheers. I like Denny Brown's purple robe. Oh! And the referee is Earl Hebner! I know that guy! Someone shouts to ring the bell. not sure who that was, did we get a production queue on the mic? Action is fast at the start, with Denny Brown hitting armdrags and flying headscissors. The armdrags especially look good, the headscissors not as much, but Brown keeps putting Davis in armbars and slowing things down as well. Brown runs the ropes poorly at one point and sloppily self propels out of the ring after he trips over Davis. Looked really sloppy. Brown starts selling a hurt back after this. Rest of the match just... goes on, not much to comment on until the finish. Which is just... weird. Davis suplexes Brown, both men's shoulders are on the mat during the pin though, and Brown gets a shoulder up that Davis doesn't realize. Commentary declares Davis the winner but they are wrong. Earl Hebner gives Brown the title and the kid starts celebrating as Davis shouts "what?" and the ring announcer incorrectly announces a title retain. Hebner has some odd mannerisms as he's explaining to Davis what happened. Crowd doesn't seem to know what to do with this information, but Davis gives Brown a hug (so was it face v face all along then? That would make sense since neither really wrestled heelishly and I dont think the crowd quiet knew what to make of Brown). Action was fine but the weird finish brings it down. I'll call it a ** or 4/10. Gordon and Bob need to see a replay to understand what happened. At least this year we get a highish energy opener, even if the finish seemed to deflate the crowd. Also apparently this match was here because Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo both went the WWF with no notice. And yeah, would have preferred to see those two guys I've got some familiarity with. Also apparently to some political weirdness, this match wasn't even for the official NWA Junior Heavyweight Championship. Though Denny Brown does eventually get to be the official champion through some other weird stuff I dont totally understand? Just funny that title lineages were so complicated back then. Tony Schiavone is in the face locker-room, still putting over the idea that only JCP does these dressing room interviews like he did last year. Tony stumbles over his words a bit here, which he didn't do all last year so its odd to hear. He's merely re-introducing the concept of dressing room interviews here, doesn't actually interview anyone. And we're on to the next match! **Brian Adidas vs. Mr. Ito** - Mr. Ito gets good heat on announcement. Sucks how every Japanese wrestler in America gets the evil Japanese man gimmick though. Brian Adidas also gets a good reaction, high pitched so the ladies must like him, which makes sense because he's good looking. Ito seems to have been on the tail end of his career judging by match listings, but was actually only 36. Chain wrestling! Surprisingly quick chain wrestling actually. Nice drop kick from Adidas. Chain wrestling eventually breaks down into some brief brawling (that also looks decent) and then Adidas brings Ito up for an airplane spin, then just drops him for the pin. Kind of a lame ending but despite being short I kind of enjoyed this? All the action was good. There wasn't any psychology or anything important going on but I enjoyed the watch. Some no selling from Ito was problematic. Moreso than the opener really? But only by a hair so they get the same rating. I keep seeing "it was only restholds" in online reviews and I swear we watched a different match, they pretty much kept moving with only a few short lulls. ** / 4/10 . Adidas gets another good pop from the win. Gordon suggests Adidas could drop a couple pounds and go for the Junior belt, which amused me for some reason. Straight into the next match after this one. Seeing a lot of one star ratings online for these first two matches but what I was told was that one star means actively bad, not watchable but nothing special like these matches were. **NWA Florida Heavyweight Title Match: Jesse Barr (c) vs. Mike Graham**: Decent reactions for both guys. Commentary is good here explaining things as it goes. The match is all holds for awhile. Finely executed and all, not super engaging but not bad. Some fun vocalizations from Graham. There's a part where Barr shakes his head and says "no" to the ref that I didn't understand really. There's some old school heel stuff with rules I dont know going on I assume. Oh did he grab hair? Graham gets a good reaction from the crowd when he puts Barr into what commentary calls a "Sort of inverted Indian deathlock". Oh then they say he was attempting a figure four but didn't get it. Got it. This type of match is fairly whatever to me, with all the holds, but the mannerisms and vocalizations help a bit but mostly the CROWD helped. Another figure four attempt that got closer got them hype again, but Barr got out via the ropes. Jesse Barr shouts "not today!". More use of the hair with Jesse Barr shouting NO when asked about it, and then amused me by saying "I dont HAVE to pull hair", THEN accuses Graham of pulling trunks. Another figure four, Jesse resists for awhile and then rope breaks. Ref bump after Barr flings Graham into him. Then Graham rolls Barr up into a package, but Barr gets out before the ref recovers. Match heats up after this as does the crowd, whips and pin attempts. Barr wins with a rope leverage pin. This was good but nothing special. Fans of more technical stuff might like it more than me but I'm going with a 4.25/10 (rounded down to another 4 for Cagematch) / **1/4 rating. Mostly held up by some physical charisma from the competitors, enhancing rest holds and such. We get a recap of some heels that include Tully Blanchard in a disguise (the commentators, with energy actually!, are surprised its him) tying up Dick Slater (a heel on the last show so something changed) and beating up Ricky Steamboat. Looking it up, thje other heels are Black Bart, Ron Bass, and manager JJ Dillon. I know those names. This group is apparently called the Longriders. Black Bart goes to the top rop and hammers a steel toed boot (in his hands) down on Steamboat's back, injuring him. According to Gordon Steamboat has put up 10k for a match with Blanchard we'll see later. **Elimination Tag: Buzz Tyler and Assassin #1 vs The Zambuie Express (Elijah Akeem and Kareem Muhammad) w/ Paul Jones ** : So wait, the Zambuie express are a black nationalist gimmick BEFORE The Nation of Domination? Thats funny. Those Zambuie boys are LARGE. Also apparently Assassin #1 has turned face since last year, and even gets a good pop thereof. Buzz and Assassin do some taunting and pointing to start to get the crowd fired up. Apparently in addition to the elimination stipulation its a tornado tag because all the men are in the ring at once. Commentary says that Buzz and Assassin want Paul Jones OUT of wrestling. Some energetic punches from Buzz, and the faces clear the ring. One of the Zambuie Express covers his ears against the cheers, and its apparently NOT a tornado tag because Assassin 1 and the other Zambuie are on the apron now. Buzz Tyler is VERY energetic, I like him. Buzz ends Kareem out of the ring AGAIN (this also let me know which Zambuie is which now.) Elijah tags in ass does Assassin. Elijah with some hammering punches in the corner. Whip reversal by Assassin and what looked like a wiffed punch but Elijah goes down anyway. And... he's out of the ring again lmao. Buzz and Kareem in again. Kareem proves he too can do some hammering strikes decently well, then chokes Buzz and whips him into the Zambuie's corner and tags in Elijah for some double teaming. Buzz gets the upper hand though and does some more basic strikes, but energetically. This match contrasts to the last in that its all brawling. But other than Buzz's energy its not very good brawling. Assassin and Kareem do some VERY sloppy strike exchanging in the ring while Buzz and Elijah are on the floor brawling as well (but doing much better at it). Assassin pins Kareem collide and Kareem falls, Assassin does a terrible looking falling splash on Kareem and... pins him? Lol... Oh quick rewind shows that Buzz actually PUSHED Assassin onto Kareem. Even funnier. Assassin goes after Jones but Jones gets away. Oh, wait, the match is over????? Oh, Buzz and Elijah got counted out on the outside and they never made that clear lol. Thats amazing. Gordon and Bob seem confused as I am. That sucked! Best part was Buzz being fairly energetic. I'm saying * and a 2/10, mostly for Buzz. (I got a little recapy with this match so it seems longer but it was actually only 4:54, but there were a lot of moving parts to mention in this and less "action is happening with no change" type moments that cant be described well). During that last match commentary mentioned a tuxedo street fight between Paul Jones and Jimmy Valiant later tonight. Can't say I'm looking forward. Anyway after a commentary pause Tony is in back with Dusty, calls him possibly the biggest wrestling star in the world. Which seems like an exaggeration but ok. He certainly doesn't *look* like a star in this shot. Where he's slopped with one leg up on a steel chair, coat on backwards, baseball cap. Just looking sloppy. Weird shot. Dusty certainly delivers a Dusty promo though! And I'm partial to Dusty promos so, I enjoyed it. As usual with Dusty promos though its hard to summarize what he said. I liked that he said he's "relaxin'" though because he certainly looks chilled out, moreso than I'd expect from him. Sort of explains why he looks what i earlier described as "sloppy". My bad, he's just relaxed! He also mentions Smokin Joe Fraizer who is apparently the referee of the match. I'm already anticipating that being a bad thing for the match, celebrity guest refs never work out. **NWA Mid-Atlantic Brass Knuckles Title Match: Black Bart (w/JJ Dillon) (c) vs. Manny Fernandez**: The entire concept of a "Brass Knuckles Title" is so old school I love it. Ring announcer announces it as being the Brass Knuckles championship of the entire world, but it seems to be just of the Mid-Atlantic. Manny Fernandez is called "The Ragin' Bull" by the announcer and the chyron. He's also one half of the tag team champions, with Dusty! He has a sombrero on and tosses it to the crowd, crowd seems to like him. Oh commentary referred to the sombrero as being 200$, so someone in the crowd is "real happy". Black Bart, a cowboy carrying a lasso, gets good heat in return. Both guys have wrist tape on I assume the knux are under that? Both men have unique mannerisms that are hard to describe but set them apart from generic guys. Oh nope, the announcers mention the tape and its just tape. So... no brass knux involved? Also why is the ref dressed like that, blue coveralls. Looks like a factory worker. Manny Fernandez has some blonde in the middle of the back of his mullet, which is distracting me. Black Bart leans back a lot and lets his big hair get in his face and it makes for a cool visual. Thats a lot of details that aren't about the match! Manny uses a sort of martial arts style in this match. Lot of waiting around in this match, not even rest holds just... standing there. When the match starts is mostly strikes to the head, which I'm meant to believe hurt more because of the tape. The selling is good at least. Ooop, Ragin' Bull is busted open. After a few blows Black Bart goes over the top rope (only legal because its anything goes! I remember things!). Oh! Manny does a really nice looking jump off the apron to hammer down with a fist onto Black Bart's head. First real excitement of the match, crowd seems into it. Black Bart is busted open now too. Oh! Another cool leaping move by the Ragin' Bull, this time in the ring. His jump off the second rope doesn't look so good though. And the fact that its all for strikes to the head... I get it as the psychology of the match but its not that interesting. Oh! Black Bart with a jumping elbow down on Manny's head, and we see it from the camera in the ceiling which is cool, 2 count though. Finish is: Black Bart drops Manny on the ropes, asks JJ Dillon for his lasso, shoves the ref to the mat, but then Manny comes in from behind to roll him up while he's getting the lasso and the ref counts the three. I actually like that finish. Manny leaves through the crowd slappin' hands. This was an interesting time capsule sort of watch. I'm not entirely sure what to make of it! There was exciting things happening, but a lot of it was just blows to the head. All in all I think its a "natural" ** match but lifted up a bit by the crowd to a **1/4 or 4.25/10. (Rounding down to 4 for Cagematch purposes). Worth noting that I'm apparently watching a version of the show that cuts entrances for copyright purposes. I thought since it was on the Internet Archive that it would be the full uncut show but other reviews I read online keep mentioning things like Manny Fernandez coming out to "Beat It". I'm not watching on the Network but I have to assume that what I am watching is the Network version. I hate missing things but I've no clue how to find a full version so I'll just review what I got. Anyway, the show the finish to Flair/Race from last year again. They showed that earlier didn't they. Some reviews say there are "some" highlights from last year so maybe some were cut and this is all thats still in it? Idk. Tony is in the back with Steamboat. He asks about the beatdown from the Longriders and Blanchard, and show the replay of that again. I'm definitely watching the Network version because some reviews mention technical difficulties during this interview that I dont see here. Steamboat cuts a calm promo, rambles a bit talking about some stuff with Wahoo that I don't know about and that the Longriders apparently attacked his gym and brother? And then describes the severity of his back injury, and talks about putting up money from his own pocket. Brief higher energy part of the promo when he calls Blanchard a "yellow bellied coward". Lots of "uhs" and small stumbles in the promo but I mean its Steamboat it is known that he's not a good mic worker. Which is why i think the promo kind of goes on too long, but the commentators did say it was a 7 minute intermission. Speaking of which, we're back to them and Gordon calls Steamboat articulate, I love when commentators say something contrary to what I just watched lol. Bob says that the title (and money) can change hands on DQ tonight. Next up is Tony with Blanchard and JJ Dillon. Dillon says he's not trying to do anything and that he's in a bad mood because of the decision against Black Bart, and then says that he, Blanchard, and the Longriders are being slandered. He puts it over to Tully, who accuses Steamboat of making excuses. Apparently previous matches went to time limit which is part of why the DQ rule is in place. He also says he's on a "path of Destiny" towards the World Title. Good heel work here denying the reality we've seen on replay twice and accusing Steamboat of making excuses. Neither promo fired up the world but it was nice easy heel work. At the end Tony repeats the reality that the attack gives Blanchard an advantage and Dillon turns to him with a dirty look. Back to commentary and Gordon thinks Tully is overconfident and Bob thinks that adrenaline will block out the pain of Steamboat's injury. I'm glad Bob brought that up because a lot of the time wrestling smarks will miss out on that bit of wrestling logic when accusing a guy of "not selling" when he gets fired up. As they run down the rest of the card there's a funny bit where two fans pick into the window they have pointing to the arena. Made me giggle. Also Bob admires Superstar Billy Graham's arms, and Graham has titles in many martial arts disciplines. That appears to be just kayfabe. **Loser Leaves Town Tuxedo Street Fight: Jimmy Valiant (w/The Assassin #1) vs. Paul Jones (w/Elijah Akeem)** : We actually get entrances not clipped on this version for this one. Anyway, not looking forward to this really. I mean it could maybe be silly fun? But its a tuxedo match. Also wow they really like to do the loser leaves town gimmick with Jimmy Valiant. Who is back outside the Charlie Brown gimmick, must have stopped doing it in the meantime between events at some point. Paul Jones WAS a wrestler not even that long ago so maybe he can do something here. Anyway Paul Jones enters with his tux covered in a rob accompanied by Elijah Akeem and some cops. The ref in the factory worker outfit is back. I really want to know whats up with that, I'd think it was just a JCP thing but Earl Hebner had a normal ref outfit on. Jimmy comes out next with Assassin, cops accompanying him too (must be part of the general presentation for the show, but its the first time in the show Ive been able to see entrances so I didn't know, though it did happen for Flair/Race last year). Crowd MOBS Valiant while he enters wow. And is very loud for him. Valiant kisses the ring announcer. Paul Jones gets good heat when he's announced. Bob has never seen a tuxedo street fight before and is looking forward. Oh Bob, you innocent soul. Paul Jones gets on his knees and begs not to do this, commentary points out that he's dressed to the nines here with a flower lapel and everything. He does look kinda sharp. Valiant goes after Jones with a rope around the neck, and ties him to the ring ropes. Valiant continues to be a pay evil onto evil type of babyface I suppose. Vailiant takes off his OWN jacket which... isn't the point to strip the opponent here? Also you can now see he's wearing a tuxedo t-shirt underneath it lol. Makes sense for the character. Valiant hits Jones a few times and then stuffs the flower lapel into Jones' mouth which is a fun little spot. Then he starts ripping apart Jones's jacket, blindfolds him with one of the arms, and then continues to rip at the shirt and then pull down the pants. Crowd is loving it to give it credit. Commentary says they might need to turn off the feed because its a family program, lol. Jones... appears to be completely stripped now? I guess the shoes count or something? But he slips out of the rope and goes after valiant with some kicks. Valiant goes down and starts convulsing immediately. Not as entertaining as last year that convulsing bit. Jones's kicks/stomps to the downed Valiant actually look alright. Valiant comes back though and gets Jones in a sleeper and Jones really obviously blades. Did... did we need blood in this match? I guess its a street fight... Elijah gets up on the apron and the crowd cheers to get Valiant's attention, Valiant throws a haymaker that hits the ref too. Ref down. Elijah comes in but so does Assassin and they team up on Elijah who does not sell the punches well. JJ Dillon comes in (heel manager alliance I guess) and clocks Valiant with a foreign object. Jones crawls over as the ref recovers and covers Valiant. Oh wait, the point isn't to strip the opponent? Its just a street fight with Tuxes on? Weird... Jones gets the pin. Weird that the ref bump was even necessary. Isn't interference legal in an anything goes match? And why the stripping if it wasn't part of the rules? Just to embarrass Jones I guess. Whole thing is kind of a mess and there was no wrestling in it. Theres an element of entertainment to it but I can't give it a good rating as a wrestling match. *, maybe *1/4 because I prioritize fun a little more than most raters? So a 2/10 in Cagematch terms. Lol even Gordon says "anything goes" on commentary so yeah, ref bump wasn't needed. Speaking of, the contrast of the hyper-serious Bob and Gordon to the match itself was kinda funny. Reading online that this was essentially another confusing finish on the show, because much more experienced reviewers expected it to end not only when Jones was fully stripped, but when his arm was lifted three times in the sleeper (though one review said that the later is justified by a distraction?). Seems things are very murky on this card. Tony is in the back with Flair! Flair starts a little slow and subdued and even stumbles slightly, but starts to fire up more as the promo goes on. This promo was a bit messy and some things didn't make sense. I did get a chuckle out of Ric saying Dusty is "jumping on the number one stud in wrestling" though. Tony's the more composed one here as he says Flair is ready. Other reviews I've seen online say that this was a good promo, but I don't see it personally, it was fine but something was off. Also is him saying that he doesn't care if the fans love him or hate him a sign that he's tweenery at thje time? Brief commentary break to discuss the main event before... **NWA Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Title Match: Ron Bass (w/JJ Dillon) (c) vs. Dick Slater** : Another guy who was a heel last year is a face this year in Dick Slater. He enters with the police escort and music (that i think is dubbed in music?) and polite cheers. He does like this little animated fitness jog to the ring which is kinda funny, and his outfit is also funny with the blue headband and blue and white robe. Just a funny overall image. Dillon and Bass enter simultaneously. Bass wears a cowboy outfit because he's a Longrider. Slater raising a fist after he gets in the ring gets a decent pop. Slater's attempts at energetic face mannerisms are... not good to me. I liked him a lot as a heel last year but this is not good. But he gets another good pop on announcement. Ron Bass gets good heat on announcement too, seems everyone was over in the 80s lol. He's also a double champion because he's the Mid-Atlantic tag champ as well, but isn't carrying that. Slater tries to get at Dillon through the factory worker ref, and shows his backside to him. Slater also lightly shoves Bass before (well, just as) the bell rings. Gordon introduces the wrestlers styles well here, calling Slater unpredictable and good with both his dukes and wrestling maneuvers, and then calling Bass "more methodical". Slater with some good chops to Bass, but then goes after Dillon outside the ring. He takes annoyingly long to get back in the ring and get the match back on. Gordon and Bob really strongly emphasize Slater's unpredictability here. Guess thats his thing. Match gets started again for half a second and then Slater is back after Dillon. Not enjoying that. I know the crowd is because they want to see Dillon get comeuppance and I get that, but I haven't watched the weeklies enough to get invested in that and just want to see a match here. Slater tries to goad Bass to fight outside the ring, wasting more time. After more taunting the match finally gets started for real and we get a headlock from Slater. Which is not the unpredictability and flying around the ring I was promised. Also Gordon says Slater would "Fight a buzzsaw and give it the first two rounds" and I dont know what that means, lol. We get some minor action (missed elbow drop, headbutt) but its mostly headlock. Loved when we got a moment of the match getting moving again and we cut immediately to Dillon's face instead of staying on what little action we're actually getting, THEN Slater goes after Dillon again, but he stays in the ring this time and Bass rolls out for refuge. Literally nothing of substance has happened so far. Slater starts acting like Junkyard Dog. Ref stops Slater from stomping Bass's face. Bass takes advantage and takes control of the match. Bass distracts the ref while Slater is tied up in the ropes and Dillon gets in a cheap shot. Bass with a suplex and a bulldog that looked kinda sloppy (not sure which of them to blame for that, maybe both). But its something. Slater sells by shadow boxing an invisible opponent, which seems a bit much for whats happened so far. Slater comes back with some strikes, gets the boot on the face this time (ref does nothing about something he stopped earlier). Bass seems to favor eye gouges as his heel move. Slater dumped out, Dillon gets some cheap stomps on him outside the ring and then throws him back in. Not sure why the ref was with Bass in the corner during that but I can accept things like that in wrestling, but I'm also not having a good time with this match so I'm noticing the little things! More punches from Bass, Slater with sells with his confused and jaunty little jog. Slater rallies, punches Bass in the corner, throws the ref out of the way and out of the ring for some reason. Belly to back suplex by Slater, visual pin but ref is out from Slater's own actions earlier. Dillon comes in and stomps, Slater turns on Dillon and body slams him, punches him so hard Dillon falls through the ropes. Body slam and leg drop on Bass, visual pin again. And... the finish is Slater is DQed for the shove earlier lol. So a deflating finish to cap it off. Good lord that was bad. Worse than matches with worse reputations. Like I'm giving this a half a star and a 1.0, and part of me is so mad I want to go full "DUD" but there was just enough decent stuff to keep it afloat from that. This match gets better ratings from people than Jones/Valiant, Fernandez/Bart, and the elimination tag but for me its the worst I've seen on the card so far, and looking ahead I think it'll stay that way. Just dreadful. So much wasted time. After the match Slater gets some revenge on both Dillon and Bass and its better than almost anything that happened in the match itself. During the commentary summation the crowd boos loud and the only thing thats happened is a ref getting in the ring, who I later learn is Tommy Young. Gordon promises "special things" to come. Camera switches to the US flag, crowd starts chanting "U-S-A". This years national anthem is just a trumpet, guess the mediocre singer from last year went over that badly. Also, I just looked at the next match and realized they put the national anthem right before the match against the evil Russians. Clever! According to online reviews watching the Network version means a light show with Neil Diamond's "America" playing was missed. **Keith Larson & Ole Anderson (w/Don Kernodle) vs. The Russians (Ivan Koloff & Nikita Koloff)**: USA chants as the faces enter. Keith Larson has the official hair of the era, long blonde hair. He's apparently Don Kernodle's kayfabe brother. Gordon briefly starts explaining the last name difference is because Keith didn't want to "capitalize on his brother's name". Kernodle is with them, with a neck brace and crutch, and carrying a US flag. Can I just comment that I love the entrance robes common in this era? Larson is wearing a red one. Ole is wearing like a more regular jacket. Ivan and Nikita enter. Nikita has such a good look, he's Ivan's kayfabe nephew. Ivan's forehead is very blade-scared up. Oddly, the Russians dont actually get that good of heat on entrance. They do on announcement though, which I guess is how it worked then. Ole gets a good pop, really everyone was over then, and Larson does too with him being a home state boy. I really miss the "everyone's over" days. Faces shake hands with each other and then after Ole grasps the back of Keith's neck in a mentorish way, they charge the Koloffs. Keith rips off Ivan's shirt, then Ole takes off Nikita's. The Russians both wear neat looking singlets. Gordon calls the faces the "Scandinavian Connection". Honestly the opening brawling here looks good and gets a good reaction, I like Larson's punches. Not huge on his dropkick though that shows up a little bit after. I do like that the match is actually moving though, considering how I felt about the last one. Ole and Keith continue to work Ivan over in their corner. Apparently Ole had his pick of the litter with who to bring with him for this grudge match and Keith was considered a surprising choice, but Gordon puts over his athleticism. Bob calls Ole's armlock bodyslam one of his favorite moves, and it looks good. Gordon proves he'll put anything over when he says the trumpet performance of the National Anthem was one of the most beautiful he'd ever heard. The match remains a double team workover of Ivan for quiet awhile, but all the action looks good and remains engaging. Everyone has good energy. Ivan has a brief comeback thats quickly ended by Keith grabbing him off the to rope and tossing him down to the matt, nearfall. Gordon puts over the Scandinavian Connection's tag psychology, saying they're targeting the left arm, ("the weaker arm unless you happen to be left handed"). Bob and Gordon both put over that Keith is learning from how the Anderson Brothers used to isolate one man. Ivan finally breaks out by gouging an eye and Nikita finally comes in. Nikita with shoulder rams in the corner, Ole with "good old American hard punches" (-Gordon). Nikita with a bearhug and Ole sells it well. Commentary admires Nikita's musculature. Ole rallies and tries to power out but it fails. Ivan goes to the top rope, Keith tries to draw referee Tommy Young's attention to this but instead Tommy tells Keith to get back on the apron and that distracts long enough for Ivan to jump off and hammer down on Ole's head. Tommy sees Ivan as he scrambles away but doesn't do anything but warn him. Ole gyrates his hips (???) to try to rally out. Finally does so as he claps Nikita's ears and breaks out. Ivan tags in, prevents Ole from doing the same. So now Ivan gets some time to beat on Ole, with boots and a bodyslam for a nearfall. Ivan misses an elbow drop, crowd cheers as Ole briefly slips away but Ivan tags in Nikita quickly and Nikita gets to Ole before he can tag out. Ole makes an odd face in peril if I'm being honest. Not bad, just odd. First thing in the match I don't really like happens when Nikita slaps on the bear hug again. With stuff like this I'm just like "we saw this already". Nikita was still very new at this stage so maybe too green for much else. We get a closeup of Ivan on the apron and I realize he has a hammer and sickle tattoo, which is a commitment to the gimmick! Reminder that he's Canadian not a Soviet and I have my doubts he was a communist. Anyway, Ole breaks out of the bearhug again after some punches and lifting and dropping Nikita. Double down crawls and Ole finally gets the hot tag out, and Keith gets to Nikita before he can tag out himself. Keith throws some haymakers and they continue to look good, knocks the Russians' heads together. Keith whips Nikita and hits him with the back of an elbow and I like the way Nikita bumps after. Keith misses a dropkick when Nikita holds on to the ropes. Nikita whips Larson and then holds him down with a choke, which gets a count from the ref. I'm enjoying this match but its starting to feel like its going on too long? I looked and its the longest match of the card. Wait, the main event goes shorter? Well, ok. Anyway Keith rolls Ivan up but he's too close to the heel corner and Nikita breaks it up, Ole comes in to try to deal with thats, beats on Nikita and gets him out of the ring. But oops! This gives Nikita a chance to get some heat by going after Kernodle! This gets a good reaction from the crowd as Ole comes in and beats Nikita for it and throws him back in the ring. A fan reaches out and pats Kernodle's shoulder to try to rally him. As the ref is dealing with Ole and Nikita, Ivan hits Keith with his signature chain. Camera foolishly switches to watching Ole and Nikita brawl more and Ivan gets the fall. I'm blown away they had the hated heels go over here, really shows how Starrcade really was just a stop on the tour and not a season finale. Some trash throwing as a heat segment commences. Nikita throws Ole into the ringpost and joins Ivan. Nikita picks up Larson in a cradle as Ivan goes to the top rope with the chain. Kernodle charges in with the crutch and takes out both Russians. Doesn't seem so grievously injured now! Anyway, small flaws aside I really really enjoyed this. Yeah this is like a *** or 6.0 match to me. Just a fun watch. Bad finish but thats to be expected, so I'm just focusing on the fact that i liked watching it. During the commentary summation we cut to the three faces. Keith sells as Ole rallies the crowd. **NWA Television Title Match: Tully Blanchard (c) vs. Ricky Steamboat** : Steamboat enters, crowd loves him. Claps hands with the faces from the previous match on his way in. Security cant stop crowd from tearing at him a bit heh. Makes a full circuit of clasping hands across the barricade, love when babyfaces do that. Even clasps hands with the ring announcer! Tully gets the dubbed in replacement music and we don't see most of his entrance as the camera stays on Steamboat. Tully does a little heelish "go away" hand flick from the apron. Seems to have the mannerisms down. His black entrance rob with gold accents and red name-text is really cool. Probably my favorite of the night. All night they've been hammering home this "no run rule" so I'm interesting in how it actually has an effect on the match. On announcement, Steamboat's pop and Tully's heat are both good. Love the old "slap the hand instead of a handshake" to start the match to sell they don't like each other. Match starts out with some really good high energy brawling right away. Steamboat especially looks great while striking. Really good Suplex from Steamboat bringing Tully off the apron back into the ring proper. The enerfy here is just like nothing else we've seen tonight. But hmm... Steamboat pulls Tully into a headlock and I don't know if its the camera angle or what but it doesn't look very good and its brought the energy right down. Doesn't last long at least as Tully breaks out, and then goes to the ropes when Steamboat tries to put it back on. Tully drops some elbows on Steamboat's ribcage, commentary reminds us that Steamboat may have come back from injury too soon. Steamboat stands around selling this as Tully keeps his distance for a moment. Some circling and sizing up as Tully eventually comes back in to more blows to the ribcage. Good control segment for Tully follows. Then a well worked gradual comeback from Steamboat. Gordon is great on commentary throughout this match. Really highlights things that ought to be, like how every move Steamboat does is costing him more and more. Another headlock that looks a lot better this time. Once again Tully takes control after getting to the ropes and hitting him in the ribs while tangled in them. Tully hits a really good looking Suplex here. Interesting to see Steamboat constantly hesitating to rope break. Steamboat sells the rib issue well by trying to turn that side away from Blanchard as they circle each other, though the circling segment goes on too long. Blanchard keeps going in to lock up and then backing off. Interesting bit where Tully fients and Steamboat flinches and the crowd goes "oooooo" to that. Tully starts doing little dances and other mocking heel moves. Steamboat points to his hand basically saying "lets wrestle". Gordon points out the ref may not put up with this for long because of the "no run" rule. But Steamboat backs Tully into a corner and goes in for the lockup. That actually ended up being interesting. Steamboat whips Tully, leapfrogs him twice and then powerslams him, all looked really good. Pin attempt fails though. Energy is high again as Steamboat rams Tully's head into the turnbuckle and then chops both sides of his head for another failed pin attempt. Punches while standing on the second rope, Steamboat's punches are so good man its crazy. Tully swings from a almost prone position and misses, Tully's busted open, Steamboat sprays spit on him. Steamboat maintains control, good chops in the corner. Neckbreaker for a pin attempt but it fails again. Tully selling well here that he's stunned and barely surviving. Steamboat uses what commentary points out is Tully's favored move of bouncing the legs off the ropes into a Suplex. Another pin attempt fails. Beautiful dropkick from Steamboat, pin attempt fails. Chop > Tully to the apron > gets up > Steamboat with another (hesitated) chop. Tully gets a foreign object and swings with it but Steamboat dodges, Steamboat lifts him up over the ropes and suplexes him, but Tully hits him with the object during the Suplex. Thereby Tully is able to recover from the Suplex situation faster, Tully charges with a crossbody pin attempt that Steamboat breaks out of. Tully with an uppercut that Steamboat sells like death, Steamboat swings wildly before dropping. Tully sets up for a superplex but Steamboat knocks him off, then hits Tully with a diving splash that just looks excellent. Still not enough though, Tully kicks out. Steamboat attempts a rollup after a whip, but Tully doesn't go down and hits Steamboat with the foreign object. Pin, Tully wins. Great match but as usual I hate JCP finishes! Actually this one wasn't that bad its just the anti-climactic nature of them. This one works as a heel finish though, but I wish I heard some heat from it that indicated that the crowd understood. There's some but, less than I would expect. So um hmm. Pretty good match. No real weak point (I thought the circling segment was but then I realized it was selling the stipulation). I'd rate it like a ***3/4 and a 7.5, but I'll round that 7.5 down to a 7 for Cagematch because I dont feel an 8.0 fits it compared to other 8.0s I've given. Note from other reviews I read: I think that "Feint" I mentioned at one point was actually Tully spitting on Steamboat, because almost every review I read online mentioned Tully spitting on Steamboat, and that Steamboat doing so to Tully later was revenge. I didn't quiet pick up on that. A lot of reviews also mention not loving that the ref didn't really notice Tully's foreign object despite it being directly in his face, which I have to agree with. **NWA United States Heavyweight Title Match: Wahoo McDaniel (c) vs. Superstar Billy Graham** : Graham enters to not much reaction, but the crowd in the very skinny entrance lane is still trying to get at him. He has his hands up and I cant tell if he's blocking the crowd or if thats part of the karate gimmick. He gets to the ring and does some karate stuff. He changed looks in the course of his career it seems, I'd never seen the mustache and karate pants look before. Apparently he originally adopted that in the WWF but transitioned to the more famous full goatee and blonde mustache look during this run, but hadn't yet. So we're seeing bald with regular mustache Graham here. He's also slimmer here than I'm used to imaging him as. I keep reading things about him "dropping the Superstar gimmick" around this time but they're calling him Superstar here so. He's already around 41 at this time so well past his prime, and was even older so I'm not expecting a great one here. But I'm seeing already that its a less than 5 minute match so "mercifully short" is what I'm sensing. Just as I have the "he's not as bulky as I'm used to seeing him" thought, he starts flexing his pretty impressive biceps. I know Graham was a heavy steroid user though. Apparently I'm meant to be hearing "Bad to the Bone" during this part, but its still the network version so unfortunately I have to miss out on that. Network gives me the same generic tune that most of the heels have come out to tonight, and its Wahoo's turn. Crowd doesn't seem to care but the pops and heat usually come on announcement rather than entrances during this era. Obvious cut at the end of Wahoo's entrance and now the men are on opposite sides of the ring and being announced. Billy's announced, takes off the t-shirt and headband and flexes, gets a decent pop. Wahoo is announced and gets pretty good heat as well, its just weird to me seeing Wahoo as a face even though I've only seen one other Wahoo match in my life. Both guys seem to be playing opposite of what they fit more naturally into here for me. Caudle mentions a "16 or 17 man tournament" Wahoo won to get the title, and low and behold it actually exists and isn't just kayfabe. Apparently he was stripped of it and had to win it again, and beat Mark Youngblood, Mike Rotundo, and finally Manny Fernandez to do so. Gordon mentions the "curious mix of boos and cheers" for Wahoo (it really did sound like entirely boos to me though) because of the crowd being upset in with his "change in philosophy". So the heel turn must have been recent. Adding to the unnatural feeling. That was a lot of intro commentary from me for what ends up being a pretty short match but here we go with the match itself! Not much going on early on. Lock ups, pretty good mannerisms from Graham notably. Oddly Graham does a hair grab to pull Wahoo down, which is a heel move I would think. Unnatural feeling continues! Lots of circling, lockups, and push offs. Commentary talks about how Wahoo is at a strength disadvantage but the match isn't entirely being worked that way, but I did chuckle when Gordon said that Wahoo is at a disadvantage for having hair while there's "nothing to grab on to there" for Graham. Caudle chuckled too! Oop, finally a heel move from Wahoo with an eye gouge while Billy had him in the corner. Wahoo control segment after this. Billy's selling is kinda funny. I don't know if I'd call it overselling but its very strange to look at. Anyway Billy reverses a whip and then gets Wahoo into a full nelson. Wahoo gets to the ropes eventually and Graham holds on for the full count from the ref, but we're back to the full nelson not long after. Graham tries to cover when he thinks Wahoo is spent enough, but two count. Whip into back elbow into decent looking standing elbow drop from Graham. Wahoo gets up, punches Graham in the gut, chops him a couple times, brief headlock by Graham, Wahoo whips Graham, but Graham shoulder blocks Wahoo to the ground. Finally Wahoo gets up as Graham tries to run the ropes and then just chops Graham in the chest, covers him, and... its over? OK I knew this match was short and that STILL felt anticlimactic. Wasn't even a heelish victory to retain heat or anything just a very simple move ending the match. Wild. Wahoo celebrates, brings down the shoulder straps, takes the belt, and walks out. Holy shit I think this little girl who can't be older than 10 is flipping Wahoo off? Anyway I hated this! In the same territory as Ron Bass and Dick Slater for me, so even though a hiatus I took makes it hard for me to directly compare it I'll give it the same rating of a half star and a 1.0. I think it was probably slightly better though so maybe I'd go 3/4 star if I had a more generous attitude in my heart at this time. But yeah nothing felt right, nothing entertained me (except in the bad way with Graham's selling). Other folks seem to not have hated it like I did, maybe because it was short and inoffensive in a way, but it just didn't have anything worth my time even if that time was relatively short! So its another case of "no one thinks the match is outright GOOD, but people dont hate it as much as I did" case like Slater/Bass. Gordon and Bob act like there was any controversy at who won the last match, which seems to be a regular thing on JCP even when the finish isn't really controversial. I read something on one review that Graham was complaining tights were pulled, but the replay showed they weren't. A 10 minute intermission is announced and we see the ending of Flair/Race at Starrcade 83 again. Bob pretends Starrcade 84 is a step up from 83, but I suppose he has to. Tony is in the back with three men who will matter in the World Title match tonight. Tony says the first guy's name, a Japanese gentleman, too fast for me to hear it but it was apparently Duke Keomuka who held several NWA titles in the 50s and 60s and was the father of Pat Tanaka. Then there's Smokin' Joe Fraizer a boxing great, and NASCAR driver Kyle Petty. Kyle and Duke are judges, Joe is the special guest ref. As we all know, making inexperienced celebs into special refs always works out for the best ( /sarcasm ). The judges are there if the match goes the full 60 minutes, which presumably means two of these three men are irrelevant materially speaking because the match doesn't go that long. Duke says something simple about both men being great wrestlers. Fine. Smokin Joe is... well he mumbles a lot and I can't totally make out everything he says. I did pick up that he plans to be fair an enforce the rules, and that he considers it just like boxing. Kyle is kinda funny with it, saying he might want to "mail [his] vote in" if he it goes that long and they get too rough, and that NASCAR and wrestling both involve aggression same as when you go for any championship. I do like how they put so much hype around a possible 60 minute draw when its not happening and doesn't even come close to happening but alright. **NWA World Heavyweight Title Match (Special Referee: Joe Frazier): Ric Flair (c) vs. Dusty Rhodes**: A bit of pyro (wow!) goes off and Bob doesn't know exactly who or what its meant to signal. Dusty comes out in a very sparkly light purple robe, and the crowd is hot for him. Dusty gets awhile to pace around in the ring and put his hood up and down as his swanky music plays (apparently Purple Rain before Network dub). Then of course Ric's Also Spoke Zarathustra starts and that I do know is real! Crowd's pretty hot for that as well, but maybe not as hot as for Dusty actually? Maybe because of Ric's somewhat confused alignment at the time? Someone in the crowd takes the chance to pat Ric's luxurious hair though, which I chuckled at. Seeing these guys in these sparkly robes, in Ric's case feathered and pink, really speaks to how camp wrestling was even at the time! Judges are announced Kyle Petty gets a huge pop lol, and Smokin Joe an even bigger one. Both Dusty and Ric get mixed reactions on announcement, so presumably the crowd is split here. Both guys have good energy out of the gate here and move quickly and seem engaged. Gordon and Bob talk about the weight differential, and how Dusty said he was training with heavy weights. Cool standing Dusty elbow to Flair's head. After which the match slows down when Dusty gets Ric into a headlock, both standing. Ric tries grabbing a leg but instead pushes Dusty into the topes and Dusty makes big drama over breaking up the hold quickly. Flair goes in with chops, then Dusty with some wild flailing punches, both in their signature way. During a second Dusty hedlock Gordon gives some backstory of Dusty's sports history and that he tried pro football but didn't like the "team discipline" and prefers being an individua, and Gordon puts pro wrestling over as the "last of the rugged individual sports". After some rope running Dusty knocks Flair down with another elbow to the head, but misses the elbow drop when Flair rolls out of the way. Flair gets Dusty down and drops a knee onto Dusty's head. Commentary is talking about Smokin Joe staying out of it, and I did note that he's no Gene Kinski so far (in that he's not making the match about him... so far). Ric goes for a cover off the aforementioned knee drop and Joe counts WAY too fast but Dusty still kicks out. Flair misses another knee drop and Dusty takes advantage to lock in a figure four. Flair sells it like crazy. Joe does some counts when Flair lays down during the figure four that still seem too fast. Flair can't reach the ropes!!! But eventually gets there. Joe breaks up the hold, Dusty hesitates to follow through on that. Ric hasn't gotten back up yet when Dusty starts working that leg with an elbow and then griding and holding his weight down on it. Flair turns Dusty over and does some strikes to the head. Mood check: Not feeling it that much but its not bad either. Perfectly average. If nothing from here goes wrong or right a 5 or so would be fine. Ric finally gets vertical again and sells by limping. Dusty tries a headlock, Ric reverses it into a (both standing) wristlock, but Dusty overpowers him. I will say I will never get tired of Dusty doing a standing elbow to Ric's head and Ric dropping, as it happens again (no sarcasm). Ric tries to run the ropes into Dusty but Dusty press slams him, looked ok. Ooh and a legitimate Flair flop (!!!) after a chop from Dusty. Dusty has Flair in the corner, few blows to the ear, then whips him diagonal across to the other corner and Flair goes up and over the top rope and out of the ring. Wait isn't that illegal? Oh no is that how the match is going to end? OK seems like not as Flair gets up slowly and Joe pushes Dusty away from following Flair out. Flair gets up on the apron and Joe keeps trying to prevent Dusty from going after him, but eventually Dusty does and Joe tries to get in between. Dusty suplexes Ric into the ring, covers for a two count (Joe got the rhythm of a count fine on this one it seems). Audience starts reacting after that two count and I wasn't actually really sure why. Both men up, quick chop trade, Flair goes to the ropes but Dusty shoulder blocks him to the ground again, Dusty goes to the ropes himself this time and Flair comes back at him with an elbow, Flair goes to the corner and "Woo" and a strut. Strut is stiff though presumably to sell. Flair goes to the top rope and is confident, looks to the crowd, but Dusty gets up and grabs him off and slams him down. Match is actually climbing into 6.0 territory for me now as Dusty misses an elbow drop. Some rope running and strikes eventually lead to a sleeper from Flair, but Dusty runs around to get out of it and flings Ric out between the ropes to the floor. Flair pulls Dusty out of the ring and they trade various strikes on the floor, Dusty ends up thrown into the ring post. Dusty busted open, looks heinous. Flair back in the ring. Joe pushes Flair away as Dusty gets back in, and then tries to check Dusty's cut as Dusty tries to refuse. Flair throws Dusty to the mat and then pummels him where the cut is. Dusty tries to fight back with an eblow but Flair gets back up quick and then follows him to the corner and gets up on the first rope and pummels the eye area again. Joe gets in between and pushes Flair away. Joe checks the cut again, goes to talk to Duke about it for a second and the two competitors are back at each other. Joe pushes Flair off AGAIN and then checks the cut AGAIN and this time the bell rings and the match ends by ref decision. Uh... ok. JCP finishes are dumb yet again, but the action of the match itself was pretty solid throughout. But the finish was *especially* dumb. Crowd didn't like it either, lots of boo until Flair's arm is raised and then a pop goes off for Flair. Dusty tries to go after Joe but various wrestlers interfere with that. Towel going around Dusty's head by the other wrestlers. Some talk on commentary about whether Joe was drawing from boxing experience with that call, which does seem salient. I do think Joe is misblamed for the quality of this match though to an extent, he was BOOKED to do that stupid ending, and otherwise mostly stayed out of the way other than some shoving that wasn't as overwhelming for me as for other reviewers. Anyway, match itself like I said was solid but I think with the ending I have to bring it down to a **1/2 / 5.0 territory. Tony in the back with Flair, who cuts a solid promo about winning and says whether Joe should have stopped the match or not is "not his business". Camera lingers on the million dollar check while he's talking for too long which was funny. Funny moment where while Bob and Gordon talk about how disappointed Dusty must be, a guy walks by and notices the booth and starts checking out the inner workings. Which has been happening all night to an extent but this was the most noticeable and blatant. Funny line from Gordon saying Dusty "Goes around reminding elephants of what they've forgotten". Now Tony's in the back with Dusty and Manny Fernandez (who was helping Dusty out earlier with the towel and is apparently Dusty's tag partner). Dusty is PISSED and says this isn't boxing its wrestling, never had a match stopped before. Outright threatens Joe Fraizer (doesn't make sense, what are they going to turn this into match?). Also tells Flair this isn't over. Shoves Tony at the end. Love Dusty promos as always, even when he's got a towel wrapped around his face! Anyway, highlights to finish the show and we're done! (Oh wait, I was wrong, we're not done. Tony interviews Smokin Joe after the highlights. He still can't really talk (though there is something kind of fun about listening to him) but he justifies his decision even though Tony has never seen anything like a ref stoppage like that before. That was a very messy show and I understand why it has the reputation it has now. Only true highlight of the show for me was Blanchard/Steamboat and even that was only a 7.0. Russians/Ole and Larson got a 6.0 from me, main event 5.0, everything else was worse. JCP's plague of bad finishes abound here. Wahoo/Graham and Bass/Slater were both 1.0s that actually angered me at how much I didn't like them. I know the second of those matches is usually considered moreso average, but I actively disliked it. The elimination tag match was also bad, and Adidas/Ito was unremarkable. Jones/Valiant had entertainment value but not as a wrestling match. Fernandez/Bart, Barr/Graham, and Brown/Davis were all unremarabkle 4.0s. Even the best match on the card isn't something I want to go out of my way to see again ever. So for me, overall event quality is a 4.0, with some desire to go even lower when I think about the matches I hated. But the two good matches keep it afloat a bit. (Note: Also apparently the Network edit took out some production issues, which might help my impression of the show).