The series gets worse. Michael isn't dead (surprise!!) and little Jamie's having visions of Michael's presence again. Dr. Loomis continually pesters Jamie to tell him where Michael is, but she's too frightened to do so. Or it could be that she can't understand what the Hell he is saying because his voice sounds like he's been gargling battery acid. And why is he smothering her all the time? Everytime he talks to her he is about two inches from her face. In fact, everyone seems to do that in this movie. Why was everybody so close to one another? It made me claustrophobic. Rachel's back (for a while anyway), and the story ends up following a new girl named Tina around. She's typical late 80's, Cyndi Lauper-ish, girls-just-wanna-have-fun sort of annoying. She parties with her friends on Halloween as the body count around her rises. I'm trying to write up something interesting about this movie but I was just bored with it. There were a couple of things that struck me as completely odd or maybe just stupid. One of them was two cops whose appearance was paired with some loopy carnival-style music when they first showed up. They weren't funny or particularly goofy. They were more bland so I didn't get what the filmmakers were attempting to accomplish. Another off the wall decision was to have Michael drive a muscle car around. It just never approached scary and was totally out of character because he used it to scare Tina. Michael doesn't scare people, he just attacks and kills them. Aw, forget it. I've said more about "Halloween 5" than it deserves.

cop 1 - someone could be dead tonight cop 2 - fortunately we're lousy cops!

Hot damn is this terrible. I used to think 6 was the worst....but I don't know, this one is pretty bad. Also there are certain "good" characters we weren't awarded with seeing bite it on screen. Unfair! Also, it is so ridiculous to see Michael Myers drive a car so damn much. I know he did in the original, but that was....different. It was some minimal stalking. In here he's speeding all over the place, sometimes trying to kill with it unsuccessfully. I hate this movie. UPDATE 10/2025: Maybe I've softened in my old age, maybe I just want to justify buying the 4Ks and watching them all every few years....but I feel like 2 is harsh. I still think it sucks but at least it has an INSANE Loomis using a child as bait. That is so so funny. It's a 4 now!

Onto the halfway point in the Halloween franchise, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers. This film is a direct sequel to the fourth film, containing all the essential and main characters from the last movie as they further the story of Michael Myers…a story that has long overstayed its welcome, but here we are. Comparing the fourth and fifth film, I can say I like this one better, but not by a large margin. As I review it, I’m going to try to explain why. So, let’s get into it. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers shows how, once again, Michael Myers narrowly escaped what everyone in the audience already assumed was his actual death. It actually made sense too, because the newly introduced Jamie could have, and maybe should have, taken over his identity. The fourth movie ended coming full circle and teased the idea that Jamie may, in fact, be just as evil as Michael was as a child – but when you watch this movie, you realize that isn’t the case. After Michael survives the ordeal, he goes into a coma for a year, waking up at surprise, surprise, Halloween time…where he…stalks Jamie again. Only this time, she has a psychic link to him for some reason. As I’ve mentioned, I like this movie more than the fourth…but why? On a completely technical side of things, the fourth movie may make a little more sense – but I believe the introduction to the characters was silly, the murders were more random, and I felt like it was just a money-grabbing sequel that really made no sense as to why it existed. In general, I feel like it existed in order for this movie to exist (in a similar way, I feel the same applies to the first two films in the series, so it’s appropriate). This film is unique, as horror film sequels should be. It changes things up and gives the little girl a psychic link to Michael Myers. Why would a psychic link be a good thing in this series that is otherwise grounded in reality? Because it’s not grounded in reality. It never was. Since the beginning, the audience has had to accept the idea that there is something supernatural about Michael Myers – but it never expressively told the audience that…they’ve only said that he’s evil. This psychic link all but proves that theory, which again, grounds the franchise back to a discernment of reality – well, something that makes more sense anyway. Now we can sit back and say that there is something supernatural at work here. That being said, Halloween 5 is still a pointless film in a money-grabbing horror franchise. Loomis is losing his mind, and not in a good acting way. He’s loony and makes the movie just a little more laughable, which is sad, considering the fact that he was one of the best actors in the first movie. The rest of the cast is just average at their abilities to act, and in the end, the movie doesn’t seem all that special. I just think it’s slightly better than the fourth. Five more Halloween movies to go. Do you guys think I’ll make it?! We’ll see.

I think I’ve got to the point now where I’ve been fully drained out of energy after watching these freaking god awful movies (obviously excluding the first three) like holy shit man, why the actual hell were these sequels even made and why did they choose such bad writers/directors to make them, seriously this was so bad. Just like Halloween 4, there was literally nothing good about this as the writing was insanely bad and I hated nearly all of the characters, plus the kills totally sucked ass and it was so annoying in some parts, which I guess in a way does make it worse than the last movie because at least that wasn’t annoying me as much. I like Dr Loomis as a character a lot but god he’s annoying in this movie and he literally felt like a completely different character here as 99.9% of this movie is just him yelling at Jamie and being super annoying. I know I’ve used the word annoying like a billion times in this review but this film actually was so annoying to watch. I hated it and once again it’s gonna be a 2 out of 10. P.S: The whole reason I’m not giving these films a 1 is simply because although I absolutely hate them, I still don’t think their like some the worst movies I’ve ever seen, which goes to show how much crap I’ve seen over the years. 2/10