2021
The First Guy To Ever Go Camping
Let's sleep where the bears live.
The First Guy To Ever Open A Zoo
I arrested a penguin.
The First Guy To Ever Open A School
I'm gonna lecture your kids.
The First Guy To Ever Wear Contact Lenses
The lenses go where? PSA: The chart in back says "HI THERE HELLO" and not "HIT HER" 🤦 I went too hard on the blur effect and shouldn't have followed the traditional eye chart layout. That's my bad for trying to rush an easter egg in and not double-checking how it could be misread (especially on mobile.) I also misspelled HELLLO with three L's --- so yeah. This went great.
The First Guy To Ever Break An Arm
It bends that way now it decided.
The First Guy To Ever Open A Hotel
Sleep in my bed.
The First Guy To Ever Reach A Million Subscribers
Big thanks to everyone who has watched my videos and pressed the button so far! ❤
The First Guy To Ever Play Duck, Duck, Goose
In Minnesota they're going to call this game Duck Duck Gray Duck, I decided.
The First Guy To Ever Climb A Mountain
Maybe I won't die.
The First Guy To Ever Go To Prison
Why can't I leave?
The First Guy To Ever Order Food Delivery
Bring me the food. Now.
The First Guy To Ever Sell Insurance
Something awful could happen.
The First Guy To Ever Feel An Earthquake
Whoa whoa whoa whoa hey everything's vibrating now.
The First Guy To Ever Be A Sports Mascot
I could dress up like an animal.
The First Guy To Ever Hire An Assassin
You see that guy over there standing there all stupid and ugly and dumb and stupid.
The First Guy To Ever Shoplift
I'm taking this.
The First Guy To Ever Graduate
Now what?
The First Guy To Ever Be A Motivational Speaker
Don't. Ever. Sleep.
The First Guy To Ever Solve A Crime
Okay wait. Who did this?
The First Guy To Ever Order Drive-Thru
I'm not getting out.
The First Guy To Ever Build A Snowman
Looks like a real person.