This is just a retelling of John Carpenter's "The Thing" on a ship, but it did have some goofy effects that won me over. I wouldn't say they were good effects, but they were weird. I also wouldn't call the monster anything other than hard to define, but I was strangely fond of that, too. And you can never go wrong with Lance Henriksen. This is worth a watch.

Wow, that was bad, so bad.

The reviews are right: This is nothing more than someone's attempt to recreate John Carpenter's "Thing Thing" on a crab trawler. The storyline is plagiarism at its best: there's no originality or change; they essentially took the original "The Thing" and tried to dress it up for a boat. The acting was terrible, the dialogue even worse, and good luck getting anything more than a passing glimpse of the creature, as the scenes are either too dark, too chaotic, or both for you to ever really see the thing. A lot of really lame sub-plots here that do absolutely nothing to embellish the main story, and Milla Bjorn (as "Svet") didn't know whether she wanted to be Russian, UK, or a southern belle from the good ol' USA. If there was "worst" part, then that character would have to be it; it was just annoying listening to her switch accents...and the director put up with it. The hurried conclusion of the film was so muddled and confusion that I still have really no idea what happened, but again, they tried to mimic Carpenter's "The Thing" by leaving "Sadie" (Camille Balsamo) stranded on an ice floe in the middle of the night. At one point, the piracy of Carpenter's "The Thing" became so blatant that they actually showed a "Chess Wizard" electronic chess game... exactly like the one Kurt Russell called a _"cheatin' bitch"_ seconds before dumping ice cubes into it and watching it short-circuit. The creature effects were get-by, at best, but seemed cheap and not scary at all. I'm not sorry I watched this, because it's the very kind of brain-rot I was looking for on a Saturday afternoon, but I certainly wouldn't ever recommend anyone else watching it. It just pretty much blew chunks and that's the best I can give it.

Basically The Thing on a ship. Rated for Lance Hendrickson alone.

The Thing 3: Crab-Fishing.