“Yo Joe!” Hasbro takes their toy commercial to the big screen; and make no mistake, that’s exactly what G.I. Joe: The Movie is – a 90 min. toy commercial. The plot is ridiculously bizarre; a pre-historic civilization living in a section of the Himalayas called Cobra-La joins forces with Cobra in order to launch a biological attack on the world population, and it’s up to a rag-tag group of new G.I. Joes to stop them. The film moves extremely fast, making it extraordinarily hard to follow. And all the familiar characters from the television show take a back seat to the new character (so that Hasbro can sell action figures). G.I. Joe: The Movie is commercialism gone awry, and represents all that is soulless and wrong with children’s cartoons.