Jack talks about his cruise to Hawaii with Rochester, where they encounter a series of characters on the ship. When Jack takes a nap, he dreams Marilyn Monroe is on board with him.

Jack recalls his childhood for his biography.

A detective tries to get a confession out of Baby Face Bogart.

It is Rochester's day off, and Jack has to make his own lunch. A messenger arrives with Johnnie Ray's contract for a guest appearance, and Jack is horrified to see that Ray wants $10,000.

Jack reads that Gregory Ratoff is planning a new production starring Irene Dunne and Vincent Price. Since he has always wanted to play against Irene Dunne, he tries to get first Ratoff and then Dunne to give him Price's part.

Jack remembers last New Year's Eve: Mary is giving a party, but Jack is not planning to go because he has a date with Gloria.

Jack tries to call Liberace. Two operators, Gertrude and Mabel, talk about Jack. Jack finally decides to go to Liberace's home. The house is filled with candelabra. Liberace asks Jack to appear with him in concert. After Liberace performs solo, the two play 'September song' together, Jack on his violin.

When Mary calls to say she is coming over because she has something delicate to discuss, Jack thinks she is going to agree to marry him at last. So daydreams about what their twenty-first anniversary would be like.

Jack recalls his old vaudeville days and the tours he made with his two partners Bing Crosby and George Burns in their act billed as Goldie, Fields and Glide.

It's ten minutes before showtime, and Gracie is nowhere to be found. Jack winds up letting George talk him into posing as Gracie for the show.