Marine Corps – Remember “earning” the dumbest job during boot camp? Like you were doing him a favor or something. You were labeled the [insert absurd nickname here] recruit.

Army – motivation comes in all shapes and sizes. And if you don’t start motivating on Day 1 of Basic Training, then things can get out of hand. Leave it up to drill sergeants to push the envelope on what motivation looks like.

Marine Corps – What do you mean there’s a “method to the madness”? You mean to tell me a drill instructor’s entire existence isn’t to break you without regard for how to feel?

Army - As much as you may hate your drill sergeant, you don’t kick a man while he’s down. Especially when that man owns you for 10 weeks. Sometimes, you hook him up. Maybe, just maybe, he’ll hook you up.

Marine Corps - If you’re flawless, then wtf is the drill instructor’s purpose? You think they’re just going to sit there and let you bask in perfection. No. They will break you. It’s only a matter of time.

Army - A Drill Sergeant’s ability to gaslight has to be studied and published in medical journal and stored in Area 51 so no girlfriend can ever copy these tactics. Psychological warfare at it’s finest.

Marine Corps – Talk to any old head and they’ll tell you that today’s generation is weak. And if given the chance, that old head might try to whip you into shape. Fml.

Army – If “adult” dungeons get safe words then maybe privates at Basic Training deserve one too. Just saying. What if they have something really important to say and instead they are….busy.

Marine Corps – If a recruit wants it bad enough and they trust their Drill Instructor, they’ll graduate and become a Marine. But Drill Instructors won’t let the unmotivated and weak graduate. And if given the opportunity to protect the Corps, they might fantasize about dealing with it in their own way.

Army – The unspoken feud between Drill Sergeants and Recruiters. Accountability finally reigns supreme.

Marine Corps - A young recruit at boot camp can’t control his body’s natural reaction despite the Drill Instructor’s best efforts.